Interpersonal relationship difficulties refer to recurring problems a person experiences in forming and maintaining relationships, setting boundaries, expressing emotions and needs, or handling conflict, whether in close relationships, in the family, in friendships, or at work. These difficulties do not by themselves amount to a diagnosis; in individual psychotherapy, the person’s own emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and way of relating are considered together.
How can interpersonal difficulties show up?
These difficulties are not limited to romantic relationships; they can also appear in relationships with parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, or authority figures. They may show up as difficulty setting boundaries, a strong need for approval, avoiding conflict, difficulty expressing anger, excessive accommodation, withdrawal, difficulty with closeness, fear of abandonment or rejection, or similar relationship cycles repeating with different people.
Why can the same problems repeat in relationships?
There is no single cause. Early attachment experiences, learned expectations, and communication patterns may play a role. Mikulincer and Shaver’s (2012) review notes that attachment theory has also been applied to the study of adolescent and adult romantic relationships, and the NHS describes dynamic interpersonal therapy as an approach that helps identify how childhood experiences are affecting relationships. The articles Attachment Theory: John Bowlby and Key Concepts and Attachment Styles: Mary Ainsworth and the Strange Situation provide background.
Do these repetitions mean a personal shortcoming?
A recurring pattern is not, by itself, a sign of a personal shortcoming. It is approached as a way of relating that has been learned over time and can be understood together. Childhood experiences may contribute to such patterns, but they cannot be presented as the certain and only cause.
Do these difficulties imply a diagnosis?
Such difficulties do not by themselves imply a diagnosis. They can, however, affect a person’s mental well-being, functioning, sense of self, and daily life, and in some people they may occur together with stress, anxiety, or low mood. NIMH and the NHS both list relationship problems among the reasons for seeking psychological support.
When can psychological support be considered?
Psychological support can be considered when relationship difficulties come with situations such as the following:
- Similar relationship problems repeat with different people or at different times.
- Difficulty setting boundaries, expressing needs, or handling conflict clearly affects daily life, work, or school.
- Anxiety about closeness, abandonment, or rejection keeps pressing on the person.
- The person wishes to understand themselves and their needs better in their relationships.
The article When Can Psychological Support Be Considered? describes the general framework.
Where can support be found if there is violence or threat in a relationship?
Where there is violence, threat, or fear in a relationship, safety comes first. According to the page of the Ministry of Family and Social Services of the Republic of Turkey, the ALO 183 Hotline for Combating Violence operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and calls made within Turkey are free of charge. If there is immediate danger, local emergency services should be contacted. The information in this article does not replace safety planning or legal support.
How are relationship problems addressed in individual sessions, and how does this differ from couple sessions?
In individual psychotherapy, the aim in addressing interpersonal relationships is not to give ready-made relationship advice or to make decisions on the person’s behalf. The aim is to help the person better understand how they position themselves in relationships, which emotional reactions they experience, how they express their needs and boundaries, how they handle conflict, and which cycles they repeat. According to the NHS, a counselor helps the person find their own solutions and usually does not tell them what to do.
This work is not couple therapy or family therapy. The NHS notes that sessions can take place with a person on their own, as a couple, or as a family, and that interpersonal therapy and couples therapy focus on relationship problems within separate frameworks. The ethical rules of the Turkish Psychological Association also ask that, when working with more than one close person, it be explained at the outset who the clients are. The work described on this site consists of individual sessions with adults (What Is Individual Psychotherapy for Adults?); the focus is not on changing the other people in the relationship but on the person understanding their own experience.
Which awareness questions can a person ask themselves?
The questions below do not provide a diagnosis; they can only offer a starting point for awareness of relationship patterns: Which emotion do I usually experience in similar situations? What is my need or boundary, and how do I convey it? In a conflict, do I withdraw, accommodate, or push back? Is this pattern also visible in my other relationships?
How are they addressed in the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach?
In the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach, interpersonal difficulties are addressed through how the person interprets situations in relationships, which emotions those interpretations bring up, and which behaviors keep them going. For example, automatic thoughts such as “If I say no, they won’t like me” or “I will be abandoned” can be considered together with emotions such as hurt, anxiety, anger, guilt, or shame. Thought records, behavioral experiments, communication skills, and boundary-setting work are among the tools that can be used in this process.
How are they addressed in the psychodynamic approach?
In the psychodynamic psychotherapy approach, interpersonal difficulties are not addressed only as present-day relationship problems; the person’s past relational experiences, early attachment patterns, emotional needs, and ways of defending themselves are considered together. The NHS London Waiting Room page states that psychodynamic psychotherapy explores the impact of early-life experiences on present-day relationships and that the relationship with the therapist is key in this approach. In sessions, work can focus on why the person feels hurt in a similar way in relationships, which anxieties come up when closeness develops, or why they keep being placed in the same role. The article How Is the Suitable Way of Working Assessed? describes when each approach may suit.
How can a person benefit from this process?
A person may benefit from this process by noticing recurring cycles in their relationships, naming emotions more clearly, evaluating boundaries and needs more openly, and reviewing how they handle conflict and closeness. The aim is not to achieve a particular outcome in relationships or to change the other person, but to make room for the person to consider their own way of relating more consciously and flexibly.
Expert note
When relationship difficulties are described, attention can often turn to the other person’s behavior or to the person’s own supposed “shortcomings.” In individual sessions, the emotions, needs, and recurring patterns behind that account are examined together; the aim is not to look for someone to blame but to understand the experience.
From a perspective that draws on cognitive behavioral and psychodynamic psychotherapy theories, a relationship is viewed as a whole shaped jointly by the person’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and by past relational experiences. Which approach, or which combination, is suitable generally becomes clear only after an assessment process; the information in this article does not replace that assessment.
Clinical Psychologist Özgün Emre Yaylacı
Frequently asked questions
For relationship problems, individual sessions or couple sessions?
This depends on the nature of the situation and the needs of the people involved. The NHS notes that counseling can be done on one’s own, as a couple, or as a family. The work described on this site consists of individual sessions with adults.
If my partner does not want to attend, can I have sessions on my own?
Yes; in individual sessions, the person can work on their own emotions, relationship patterns, and way of communicating. The aim is not to change the partner but for the person to understand their own experience.
Does the psychologist decide whether to continue or end the relationship?
Generally no. Counseling is described as a process that accompanies the person in finding their own solutions; the decision belongs to the person.
Which psychotherapy approach is more suitable for relationship problems?
No single approach can be said to suit everyone. CBT focuses more on how situations in relationships are interpreted and on behavior cycles, while psychodynamic psychotherapy focuses on past relational experiences and recurring patterns; suitability is considered together at the initial assessment.
What can be done if there is violence in a relationship?
Safety comes first. The ALO 183 hotline of the Ministry of Family and Social Services of the Republic of Turkey operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; if there is immediate danger, local emergency services should be contacted.
Sources
This article is intended for general information. The following sources were consulted in its preparation:
- NHS (UK National Health Service): Counselling
- NHS: Talking therapies
- NHS London Waiting Room: Psychodynamic psychotherapy
- Mikulincer and Shaver (2012), World Psychiatry: An attachment perspective on psychopathology
- NIMH (U.S. National Institute of Mental Health): Psychotherapies
This article was prepared by Clinical Psychologist Özgün Emre Yaylacı. Last updated: October 23, 2026. The content is for general information only and does not constitute diagnosis, treatment or personal guidance.
